Live Blog: Miranda Lambert

And we're off!  The 2009 ACM Awards has begun and there she is, the Queen of country music... our girl Reba.  Well they just flew right over Reba and went right to B & D.  They're pullin' out all the stops here at the head of the show...  Taylor Swift.  Now we got Sugarland performing... there ain't gonna be anybody left by the end of the show.  I think Jennifer Nettles is wearing the vest that went with Taylor Swift's outfit... they are both wearing shards of glass.  Carrie Underwood is either wearing the biggest diamond choker I've ever seen or she was in a car accident right before the show and they've put her in a neck brace.   Now we got Rascal Flatts... they are bringing out all the super stars at the start of the show.  This show should be a cozy 30  minutes, I guess they'll fill the rest of the show with CSI reruns.  Just saw Matthew McConaughey in the audience wearing dark sunglasses, I'm sure it has nothing to do with his eyes being red.. wink, wink.

There she is and I  must say Reba looks like a Million dollars.  Dress number 1, tasteful black with fringe... since I know nothing about fashion, judge for yourselves friends.  Reba bringing out the one liners early.  Sorry but I already beat you to the punch on the pot joke.   There's Brad Paisley and his good luck charm, Little Jimmy Dickens.  They're either out on the road together or that's the worst looking green room I've ever seen.

Shecky McEntire is finished her set and now Kenny Chesney has finished the stage.  How out of character that he would have a screen with beach scenes.   Ah here's that country icon... Jennifer Love Hewitt.  She's here to present the Song of the year and who better to present it than the star of the Ghost Whisperer.  And the winner is Jamey Johnson!  The look on George Strait was how did Grizzly Adams beat me? 

 While we break, check out these words from new country group Gloriana:

To the bloggers out there, CountryFan... What would you like me to be wearing?  And to Julie -- there's enough crowns to go around.

 We're back and Reba's still in the same outfit.  Has the economic downturn his the ACM's as well?  Whoa!  Heidi Newfield doing Johnny and June in the middle of a ring of fire... nice touch.  Don't try this at home... although I know you're going to.  It just hit me how much Heidi looks like Nicolette Sheridan.  This way you can watch the show and not feel like you're missing Desperate Housewives.  Oh wait, Jen told me Nicolette's character got killed off the show last week... maybe there's not really her up there.

Darius Rucker presenting the award for Vocal Group of the Year.  Since the show's in Vegas, I'm betting on a sure thing... Rascal Flatts.  I Win! 

And for all your live bloggers out there.  We have a special sweepstakes tonight launching off the live blog.  How would you like to win the celebrity gift basket they give away at the ACM Awards?  We'll now's your chance... enter now here: http://www.cmt.com/interact/sweepstakes/acm-gift-basket

What's in the bag? Click on the link above and you'll get a description of some of the fabulous items inside!  Trust me, it's good -- I want to keep it myself!  P.s.. Carrie Underwood gets it and picks out what she wants and then gives the rest to her stylist... you'll love it.

Ah yes, another country icon, Marissa Miller... Who you ask?  Exactly...

Here's Toby Keith and he brought a horn section.  I heard 'em play two notes and that was it. Sweet gig for them... I wonder if they get that cool gift basket?

Reba STILL in the same outfit... we're in a depression.  America is in a depression.

Now Jamey Johnson is singing and the pictures in black and white... we can't even afford TV anymore!  The bread lines and government cheese are soon to follow!  And Jamey Johnson is ready for it, he's obviously quit buying shaving cream and razor blades.  Oh now we're to color... all is not lost after all!  Now it's black and white again... how many people have actually gotten up and hit the side of their TV thinking there's something wrong with the picture?  Oh and the color is back! Just kidding we knew what they were doing with this song, "In Color." Just making sure you were listening.

We're in Nashville and we are actually under a tornado warning right now... so if we go away for a few minutes... we may have taken shelter in our designated safety area... the restrooms.  If the awards are on right now, why don't you tell us what's happening because we are watching a line of thunderstorm come through with a weather bulletin.

Jamie Foxx has taken the stage... now here's an actor with a legitimate reason to be here, he sang on the Rascal Flatts record on the song, "She Goes All the Way."  Plus, he played Ray Charles and got a Oscar for it.  He's at home on any stage.

Here's the real deal friends... George Strait.  Enjoy...

And while King George is on stage it's a perfect time to ask your opinion on who's going to take home Entertainer of the Year award.  George is nominated along with Kenny Chesney, Brad Paisley, Keith Urban and Carrie Underwood. 

Here's Jack Ingram and Jason Aldean to present Top New Artist.  See who Chuck Wicks thinks should win!

And Chuck was right!  Looks like he'll get some kisses and not from Zac Brown or Jake Owen!  Julianne is genuinely excited.  I interviewed her a couple of weeks ago and she has got it together.  Smart, funny and classy.  I predict she will go far.  She's gone quite a ways already.

While we are breaking we want to remind everyone to check back on CMT.com after Reba's performance tonight to exclusively stream her new song "Strange."

And she finally changed... there's hope for America!

The country icons keep coming... David Copperfield.  How about making yourself disappear Dave.  I'd make some sarcastic comment here but I think this speaks for itself.

Is it just me or did Taylor look embarrassed by that whole magic trick thing? Any embarrassment Taylor might have felt by the David Copperfield bit was erased by this performance.  This was her best performance on an award show by a long shot. 

Here's Lady A performing "I Run to You."  They usually bring it on the award show... lets see how they do this time.   Good job kids.

While we're breaking check out Jack Ingram talking with host Reba McEntire about her upcoming performance tonight on the ACM Awards.

We're back with Womack! Lee Ann sound great and gets extra points for singing in 15 inch hills.  She could get into Cirque De Soleil with balance like that.

And the country icons keep coming Kaley Cuoco from the Big Bang Theory.  She's presenting the ACM Top Vocal Duo and what a surprise... Sugarland.  I think we call saw that one coming. 

Here's our girl Kellie Pickler.  With a new hairstyle and a form fitting dress and on behalf of all red-blooded American men, I'd like to say thank you Kellie.  Here's dirty sexy Keith Urban.  Keith's singing about wanting to kiss a girl... what's wrong with the one you got Keith? How 'bout leaving some for the rest of us.  Between you and Katy Perry I'm out in the cold... like I had a chance anyway.

Thanks again to all the fans who are posting their comments and saying the things we'd like to say but can't!  Thanks and keep 'em comin' folks.

Here's Miranda Lambert... You know boyfriend Blake Shelton was suppose to be here blogging with us but she wanted him to go to Vegas with her... guess who won.  Now you're stuck with us.  Blame it on Miranda.

LeAnn Rimes receiving the Humanitarian Award... lets listen to this speech.  Could be interesting...

Here's John Rich... take a listen.

To Cindy who just asked if I'd heard anything about Tim McGraw being replaced by Blake Shelton on the show... I did indeed hear there was a "tiff" with the producer but don't know much more than that.  I'm sure CMT.com is on the case and you'll be able to read the whole story there soon.

Great comments everyone.  Keep em' coming.  We feel ya.

Here's Billy Ray Cyrus, I wonder who he's going to introduce...

Billy Ray Cyrus "Plug-O-Matic"

Here's Miley Cyrus.  According to Billy Ray, I think she has a movie and a record coming out this week.  Did you hear anything about that?  They stole the set piece from the Price Is Right... where's Drew Carey? It's the Mountain Climber.

It's Montgomery Gentry... and as always, they sound just like themselves.

And break time... Shane's off to steal some chips and chocolate!  And a reminder to everyone here... don't forget to enter the Live Blog Celebrity Gift Basket Sweepstakes! http://www.cmt.com/interact/sweepstakes/acm-gift-basket

We just learned from the CMT Radio Live twitter that Miranda Lambert had never performed the song she sang tonight before and she just wrote it.  http://twitter.com/CMT_Radio_Live

Carrie Underwood standing on top of an avalanche of fabric.  Wonder who's hiding under there?  Maybe Randy Travis is going to pop out from under the dress and do a duet with her.

Martina is presenting the Top Male Vocalist... she's not singing? What a crime! Ah... the only guy who's not there wins, Brad Paisley... I told you Tater was his good luck charm.

You wanted her... you got it, here's Reba singing.  Log on to CMT.com at 12/11c or anytime this week to hear Reba's new single, "Strange."  Exclusively at CMT.com!

Here's Dierks with the award for Top Female Vocalist.  This is a tough call here... but I'm betting on Carrie Underwood.  I win again!  Ding, Ding, Ding!  I'm glad she was able to find her way out of that other dress.

Well done Trace.

Okay... only a couple of awards left.  Any more bets on who will win EOTY?

Finally!  Another costume change for Reba.  This may be the last one, I think she'll take it home in this gown.  

Jennifer Nettles is looking right at me right now, I know it... I just know it.  You're trying to seduce me right now aren't you Mrs. Nettles?

To Kim -- The storm passed us by some folks in East Tennessee and Southern Kentucky are being told to keep watch.  Good luck to all of them and thanks for your concern Kim, we are A-Okay!

Here's another "surprise" award. 

Uh Oh!  Malfunction junction!  Here's Single of the Year... Trace Adkins! Always good to see the big guy win.

Hey everyone -- be sure to check out all of CMT.com's award coverage to see photos, winners and more! http://www.cmt.com/acm-awards/

Here's Blake Shelton unplugged.  Well, he is plugged in but he is acoustic.  This seperates the men from the voice.  Your voice and a couple guitars.

Get ready for Album of the Year... This is another tough one but I'm picking Carrie.  Can I go three for three... we'll see.  Boy was I wrong on that one...

Here comes Rascal Flatts with "Here Comes Goodbye."  Like how I tied that together?  That's why they pay me the big bucks... actually I get paid nothing for this and they are getting their moneys worth don't you think?

Finally it looks like the big one is coming after the break... Entertainer of the Year. I'm betting on the only female in the bunch... Carrie Underwood and from the looks of the fan pool, it looks like they are going for her as well. http://www.cmt.com/acm-awards/voting.jhtml.  Stay tuned...

Here's Matthew McConaughey to present Entertainer of the Year.  He seems surprisingly coherent.  Here we go... EOTY!  And Bing, Bing, Bing!  The fans were right!  Kenny just tried to kiss her and she pulled away. That wasn't so awkward was it, yes it was.  Rejected! 

 Well that's it friends!  Another ACM Awards has come and gone.  Congratulations to Carrie and all the winners.  Great job Reba.  And that will about do it for me and Jen.  Don't forget to check back and hear Reba's new single, "Strange," exclusively at CMT.com! So again, remember in the word of Robert Earl Keen.. "the road goes on forever, and the party never ends..." See ya next time, until then.. adios!

Kick it off Wichita. The 2008 CMA Awards show has started and it's started with a bang.  Two of the best guitar players in all of country music are burnin' it up on stage.  Brad Paisley and Keith Urban.  Brad Paisley and Keith Urban are smokin'!

This show open reminds me of the opening of Happy Days. I expect to see Fonzie give the thumbs up any second.

Here are your hosts... Brad Paisley and Carrie Underwood. Even though he's a master guitar player... he hasn't mastered the art of the quick change yet.  He was still tucking in his shirt on the way out.  Fortunately for him I think everyone was looking at Carrie.

There's the King George Strait.  Does this guy ever age?  I actually think he's getting younger.

Pretty good opening exchange by Brad and Carrie.  Oh look it's Old Lady Urban and Wolverine. If you are wondering what these two are doing on the show... I guarantee it has nothing to do with the fact that they have a new movie coming out.  That's Australia coming to a theater near you November 26.

Here we go with Single of the Year!  And the winner is George Strait!  Still a classic.  He's walking up with producer, Tony Brown, a classic in his own right.

While we are taking a break, let me give you a little advice if you are visiting Nashville... the food at Paradise Park is worth the trip by itself. They just told me the kitchen stays open till 4 and they may have to throw me out.  I am now officially addicted to their sweet potato fries.  Thems good eats.

Kellie Pickler evidently raided Madonna closet for her clothes tonight.  She must have left the whip backstage.  But trust me, I ain't complaining.

My man Alan Jackson has evidently started a riot in the arena.  Wait!  They are all doing the same dance.  Is this some kind of mass hysteria? No, they're just having a good time!  Get it?

Billy Ray and Miley are about to introduce the winner of Song of the Year.  Wait for it...

I thought it would come down to the battle between Sugarland's Jennifer Nettles and Alan Jackson.  Easy for me to say of course after the fact. 

Sorry -- we had a little technical burp.  But now we're back. Miranda's performance of "More Like Her" was great and now Lady A is tearing it up.  Show's going great so far.  For 12 years Vince Gill set the gold standards for CMA hosts.  But Brad and Carrie have done a great job so far and are making their mark as well.

Another break... and another chance to hear from another one of our favorite country artists...  Big Kenny.

Some of you have asked if you can watch the awards online since you may be at work... you can see the show replayed in it's entirety on CMT Nov.29th.  See CMT.com for more details.  How bout them apples!

Martina's bringing out the leather just like Kellie Pickler.  Madonna's looking on and smiling.  Martina is always belting it. I've always wondered how that big big voice comes out of the little bitty body.

Okay guys I'm soliciting your opinion... who do you think is going to be entertainer of the year?  Sound off!

Black on black seems to be the fashion statement this evening.  Of course he's sticking with the brown cap.  He's a man of conviction.

Heidi Newfield and John Rich are about to present the award for Vocal Group of the Year. We actually just saw John walking down the street on his way to the arena.  Cuttin' it a little close aren't ya John?  And the winner is... The Little Rascals... Rascal Flatts. Congratulations boys.

Hey to Goober!

So far on the fan voting for Entertainer of the Year... we have 1 vote for Kenny Chesney, 1 for Keith Urban, 2 for Brad Paisley.  Here's another question while we're at it... Best dressed?  Worst dressed?  Let her rip friends!

Taylor Swift is Rapunzel in the tower... let down your hair! I feel like I'm on a ride at Disney Land... it's a small world after all.  Oh -- her fairy God mother aka her stylist, pulled the old switcheroo... I wonder what his name is.

Kid Rocks playing to the hometown crowd with that Titan's jersey. He's playing to me with this tune... I'm a Skynyrd fan from way back.  Turn it up!

I want to thank all our readers for saying what we can't say.  Very funny, very true.  'Nuff said.

Okay kids... I asked you earlier... best dressed?  Worst Dressed?  So far... no ones chimed in.  Do your worst... lets go!

The King is doing his impression of Jimmy Buffett... or is it Kenny Chesney?  I can't tell anymore. Of course George could sing the alphabet and it would sound good. Is Tommy Chong one of his backup singers?  If so, where's Cheech?

Remember kids... The song Jason Aldean is performing tonight will be on CMT.com tomorrow for a listening party! Now that's a country boy right there.  No leather.  No whips and chains.  Just all-American cotton and denim... I'll lay ya 5 to 1 that t-shirt came from Walmart and he's proud of it. Glad to see he ain't got above his raisin'... Thank you.

Taylor Swift is back in black to present the Best New Artist Award.  Hooray for Lady A. Congratulations kiddos!

We've just had a request for the list of the winners so far... so here ya go!

As you just saw, New Artist of the Year -- Lady Antebellum, Vocal Group of the Year -- Rascal Flatts, Song of the Year, "Stay," Jennifer Nettles,  and Single of the Year, "I Saw God Today," George Strait.  There ya go, glad to be of service.

We've gotten a lot of great comments on best dressed and worst dressed.  Way to go kids!  Keep 'em comin'.

Looks like Brad's about to do a tribute to one of the greats we lost this past year... Jerry Reed.  Give it up for the Snowman.

I think this is Carrie's fifth or sixth outfit so far tonight... I've lost count.  If she keeps this pace up she'll be in her pajamas before the shows over... or maybe naked.  I can dream can't I...

Continuing the trend for wearing black this evening... here's Reba and B&D.  Maybe they should call themselves "S&M." 

A trio of newbies presents the award for Vocal Duo of the Year.  And the winner is... Sugarland!  They must have known they were going to win... they went and changed into all black!

Congratulations to musician of the year Mac McAnally.  This guy's not only a great musician but he's been writing some of the best songs EVER since I first saw him open for Joe Cocker at the University of North Alabama in 1978.  One of the best.

We apologize for the oversight in reporting the awards at this point.  The award for Music Video of the Year was presented before the show and the winner was Brad Paisley, "Waitin' on a Woman" and directed by Jim Shea.  Sorry for the oversight. For the official list of the awards go to CMT.com... they know everything!

Darius Rucker doing a fine  job of crossing over from pop to country... lets hope he sticks around a while.

The trend continues... Brad Paisley wearing all black except for the hat.  I think the show could only afford one stylist this year or this could just be an unspoken tribute to Johnny Cash. This song won Video of the Year earlier this evening. It's a video that featured Andy Griffith... nice job Ange.  I'll see ya at the diner.

This is Jen.... Thanks Shane! : )

Josh Turner and Lee Ann Womack on hand to present Album of the Year... I guess they didn't get the memo to wear all black.  A refreshing touch of color may I say.  And the winner is... "Troubadour."  The King still reigns.

Another big thanks to all of the readers of this blog for coming up with some great comments.  I think we're having more fun reading yours, than you are mine.  On a personal note to some of those Sylvan Brothers fans... thanks for remembering and God bless ya Ralph. To MR who asked about the power outage we experienced in downtown Nashville today... it's still out in some sections  but CMT is back up and running and the Sommet Center bounced back quickly.  We think it was all the hair dyers running at the same time back stage.

Alright ladies... brace yourselves.  Here's Keith Urban.  Gee... what a suprise... he's wearing black too!  You can listen to this song again at CMT.com! Head over to hear his single "Sweet Thing" on The Leak.

Here's another one we missed!  Musical Event of the Year was awarded pre-show to Robert Plant and Alison Krauss for "Gone, Gone, Gone."  Congratulations y'all.  The statues in the mail.

This tribute is what country music is all about... no further comment necessary.  Lets just listen.

Here comes my pal Vince Gill.  The nicest guy in the biz.  He's wearing black, but at least he's got a green shirt on.  He's running down the new Hall of Fame members.. Emmylou, Tom T., The Statlers and Pop Stoneman. Welcome.

Here we go with Female Vocalist of the Year... who will it be? Carrie Underwood gets the trifecta!  Congratulations Carrie... well done! Let me just say if this award were given for pure vocal talent... Alison Krauss would be given this award for life.  Because a voice like that comes along only once in a lifetime.   However, from year to year it's what you do with that voice and this year they decided Carrie did the most.  Congratulations to not only Carrie, but to Alison, Miranda, Martina and Taylor.  Thanks for a great year... looking forward to many more.

Here's Sugarland... I think Jennifer borrowed her outfit from the road show version of the Lion King!  It's the "circle of life." Kristian on the other hand is going with the requisite all black uniform. The scarf's a nice touch though...

I've just been told that this is James Otto's very first performance ever on the CMA Awards. And like any first timer he followed the rules... he wore all black. 

One more shout out to all of you who are posting comments. You guys are the best group yet... keep 'em comin'!

Kenny we see you doing yet another Jimmy Buffett impression... Oops sorry... he's morphed into Bob Marley.  Right on, Mon.

That was one of the members of Bob Marley's band.. The Wailers.  Now I get it... forgive my ignorance.  I'm just a country boy.

Trace Adkins has taken the stage... how much more black can his outfit be?  The answer... none more!  But he sounds good and that's what counts by God. Thank you.

Here's our little Reesey... our hometown girl and faux June Carter Cash.  About to present Male Vocalist of the Year. wait for it... Brad Paisley! Are my eyes deceiving me or did he make a not so subtle birth announcement?

Hey it's the Eagles... they sound just like themselves.

Okay the shows at commerical. When we come back we're going to find out who guessed correctly for Entertainer of the Year.  And we'll find out who this special guest presenter is. I'm not going to say who it is but her name rhymes with Bania Gwain. 

Fans... go on to CMT.com now for fan voting for the red carpet fashion poll. http://www.cmt.com/cma-awards/voting.jhtml

Great hoogly moogly!  Divorce does a body good.. I don't think Shania's ever looked this good.  And here's the Entertainer of the Year... Wow!  Kenny Chesney!  Who'd a thunk it! Suprise, suprise, suprise!  Brian Bayley just told me Kenny wore the same outfit last year when he won EOTY... something tells me we'll be seeing this outfit again!

Congratulations Kenny!  Job well done.  Well that's it, shows over and they made it right on time.  Thanks for all your comments and hanging with us from the start all the way to the very damn end of this ride!  Until next time, remember in the words of the great Robert Earl Keen, "the road goes on forever and the party never ends!" See ya on down the highway... adios!

 And they're off.  The parade of stars will start soon and there's our very own Lance Smith in his very own Regis Philbin monochromatic suit and the lovely Katie Cook who couldn't look lovelier this evening.  Lets hope the same goes for all of our country stars this evening.... and here's Trace Adkins.  I wouldn't call him lovely, but I would call him a fine young man and a fine entertainer.  Anything else would result in a lot of pain and broken bones for yours truly.  Trace is nominated for video of the year, song of the year and single of the year.  Good luck big fella.

 Darious Rucker, minus the blowfish.  He's making waves in country music these days and is being quite well received.  However, could he have worn a tie? I guess but he's cool enough to get away with it though.

 Here's one of my favorite new groups... Lady Antebellum.  Love their songs, love their videos... I don't know about these outfits.  They look like they are ready to officiate a funeral service.  I can say that because I'm always so well dressed.  I usually look like I'm on my way to a tractor pull.

Since we have a break in the action on CMT's red carpet show.  Just want to take time to let everyone know we are here live from Paradise Park Trailer Resort here on the fabulous lower Broad in Music City USA.  Come see us and you can be part of this blog as well.  Make your opinions known.  It's the American way. 

Here's another one of my new favorites, James Otto.  He's a country music giant... literally. Katie looks like Fay Wray standing next to King Kong.

Here's the Lancer with Josh Turner... if his emotions are as deep as his voice then this guy then this guys got feelings to draw on for a lifetime of songwriting.

Hooray for us!  We have our first guest blogger.  Tommy Griffith.  Tommy just came off stage and was entertaining us before the we started.  He's a singer songwriter from Johnstown, PA.  Let her rip Tommy.  "So I'm up here playing and these folks come in and put a computer up and shut me down.  I'm playing next week.  Monday and Wednesday from 2-6 at Paradise Park... the best bar on Broadway.  And actually, I'm glad you all are here 'cause I'm actually up for an award tonight.  I'm up for the poorest struggling musician award and I think I got a good shot to win. But anyways thank you all for coming to see me and we'll see you next week... thank you!"

Thanks Tommy... great comments and they were also well timed.  It gave me a chance to lust after Kellie Pickler.  Fifteen minutes into the show and my inner dirty ole' man has made an appearance.  And she's followed by Jewel.  We've hit a deuce... well we've hit a triple.  Who's up next?  We'll see...

Here's Rodney Atkins up for the New Artist award tonight.  Still wearing that cap... it's good to see an artist dedicated to his own personal fashion statement.  I wonder if he wears it to church.  Good luck Rodney... I tip my cap to you.  Pun intended... that's why I get the big bucks.  You may now pause to vomit.

Now with another break in the action, we are about to order some food here at Paradise Park.  We hear the burgers are great!  We are about to find out...

LBT... Little Big Town.  They clean up right well. They're up for Vocal Group of the Year and they're dressed for success. Good luck to y'uns.

Miranda Lambert has arrived wearing Mr. T's jewelry.  However she could wear a toilet seat around her neck and she'd still look good.  She's up for Female Vocalist of the Year.  I hope there's a couple of Brinks cars with her.  Michael Phelps doesn't have that much gold around his neck.

Here's Keith Urban with some actress.  I think she's been in a couple  movies.  Will do a little research and try to figure out who she is. 

Here's Jason Aldean our CMT on Tour headliner and he's up for New Artist of the Year tonight.  CMT.com will be premiering the listening party for his new single that he'll be performing tonight on the CMA Awards.  I like Jason, he's the same off stage as he is on. Someone said the word tux to him before the show and it reminded him to put his t-shirt inside his pants. He ain't putting on any airs for anybody... not even the CMA.  Be yourself cool breeze.

Here's our very own Lance Smith with Jake Owen.  He's up for Musical Event of the Year along with Sugarland and Little Big Town for "Life in a Northern Town."  His outfit looks like it came from a northern town... He's dressed like a cast member of the Sopranos.  Sharp and shiny. 

Here's Sugarland... looking like they just stepped off a wedding cake.  With five nominations, the odds are they are going to have a good night.  Of course they could be the Detroit Lions of the 2008 CMA's.  We'll have to wait and see.

Julianne Hough looks like a rose.  Literally.  But what do I know about fashion?  I do know about beauty when I see it and holy moly she's a good lookin' woman.  If the rumors are true, you're a lucky man Chuck Wicks.

Here's the long tall Georgia boy Alan Jackson with his family.  Back in the 80's I used to clean his pool. No joke... just the sad reality of my life.

Lance with country queen Reba McEntire, now that's a classy outfit.  I'm no Mr. Blackwell, God rest his soul, but that woman knows fashion.  Oops, I just noticed her black fingernails.  I hope that polish and not the result of repeated hammer accidents.

I understand the girl Katie's talking to has gained a degree of popularity.  Word has it she's some country artist's daughter.  We'll do a little research and find out just who this Miley Cyrus is.

While I inhale these sweet potato fries and patty melt... here's a word from one of our favorites, Emily West.

Evidently it's very bright on the red carpet as Kid Rock has his state trooper sun glasses on.  Nice lid Kid.  The man can wear a hat.  This may be the first time I've ever seen him at a country music event without Bochephus standing next to him.  Our little man is growing up.

I don't know who's been harder to miss this week... Taylor Swift or Sarah Palin.  I'm only sick of seeing one of them at this point.  Saw her perform on Letterman the other night.  Dave loved her, that's not easy to do.

Nashville native and Oscar winner Reece Witherspoon has just stepped up to talk to Katie.  There's a lot of actors on our show tonight... a lot of them are cutting country records now.  Kevin Costner performed at the Ryman this past weekend and Robert Duvall and Jeff Bridges are starring in a new CMT Movie that will coming out soon and I hear Gary Coleman actually hummed a verse of "He Stopped Loving Her Today" on his way to visit his probation officer.

So I (Jen) just left the Exhibit Hall and let me tell you, I have never experienced the craziness that I just experienced!  Ever! We got word that Miss Jessica Simpson was going to be signing so we headed over bright and early to beat the crowd in.  We got our spot on the media side and waited for the stampede of people to come through the door.  I was actually kind of scared because I knew the crowd that was outside, having seen them on our way in.  So 10 O'clock on the dot they let them in... and then I was amazed... here came a crowd of hundreds running toward us!  Next thing we know, people are getting trampled, hurt and crying!  People were just simply walking out of the line because of how many people were trying to shove their way into such a tiny area (at least compared to all the people who were there). 

After about 15 minutes of this, things finally calmed down.  They were separating lines and getting people where they needed to be.  Then the big moment... Jessica walked out.  She entered at the front of the SonyBMG booth accompanied by her dad and assistant.  A little girl about five or six was standing next to the booth and yelled her name.  Jessica leaned down to her and waved and asked her how she was.  She was smiling and ready to go... and that's a good thing because she's probably still signing right now.  We were unable to get a comment from her at the time because of how nuts the exhibit hall was but we will not disappoint you... she will be making a comment with us later... so check back!

We now had a chance to get Jessica Simpson's comments to all of you out there:

"Being here in Nashville and around all these music loving fans inspires the true artist in me.  I can't wait to take my music to the stage and give back to the fans."

Ashton Shepherd sent us some of her pictures from her point of view while out and about the CMA Music Festival.  She also had these comments for ya'll...

"My first CMA Music Fest was a fun and full day.  I feel so blessed to have gotten to meet so many fans and supporters and to get to play for them as well.  Talk to you later!" 

Hey everyone...we just got word from Emily West who is enjoying her CMA Music Fest week... "Hey Guys, it's Emily West.  I just saw Wynonna... she was so sweet and I got my picture taken with her. So many awesomely awesome super stars here!  Including myself!... just kidding... but not at the same time! I sing at 3!!! So excited."

Stay tuned for more... Shane Caldwell is about to hit the streets with the fans to have a "Good Time."  So watch out for us!

RED ALERT!!! We've got Dance Fever!... or it maybe it's heat stroke cause it's hot out there!  But safety be damned friends, because we have just returned from the unbridled spectacle known as the 2008 CMA Music Festival where we walked among the massive crowd of fans to see if any of them had what it takes to compete in the Alan Jackson "Good Time" Dance Off.  we took our high tech boom box with Alan's current hit blasting away and threw down the gauntlet in the middle of Lower Broad.  The fans were a little intimidated at first.  But who wouldn't be when faced with my stunning physique and cat-like dance moves?  After taunting them for a good five minutes, one brave gal emerged from the crowd to answer the call.  She was a gamer and together, we looked like Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers dancing cheek to cheek in Top Hat... actually we looked more like a couple of sunburned monkeys having a seizure but it got the rest of the fans going and pretty soon, a whole bunch of them joined in!  Gaze, if you dare, upon the lovely ladies and one brave guy who threw caution to the wind (along with their dignity) and strutted their stuff for your amusement. 

 Click to watch "A Good Time with Alan Jackson and Shane Caldwell"

Well, there you have it!  The first Alan Jackson "Good Time" Dance Off!  Enjoy it while you can cause after people see this, I don't think we'll ever get anybody to do it again.  That'a all for now, I'm going to go drink away the shame of my pathetic dancing. The only problem is, I'll get drunk and start dancing again.  When, oh, when will this vicious cycle end!?!? Stay Tuned...

Hey country music fans!  It's Jenna Lee again reporting from LP Field at the 2008 CMA Music Festival.  Our own Allison Demarcus was the host for tonight's show and she did a remarkable job and looked fabulous! 

Ashton Shepherd was the first to take the stage and the crowd went wild when she sang "Takin' Off This Pain."  Fans were out of their seats holding up those cold beers in their right hands to mimic the lyrics of her song. 

Next up was Jack Ingram, who just won top male vocalist at the ACM's. Jack had the ladies going crazy with his semi-unbuttoned black sleeved shirt and his golden locks.  He rocked the crowd with his hit single, "Wherever You Are."

Then two blond beauties took the stage, Taylor Swift and Kellie Pickler, to introduce Lady Antebellum, who won top new vocal group at the ACM's... congrats guys! The group opened up with "Looking for a Good Time," and the fans certainly had a great time!  They rounded out with their debut single, "Love Don't Live Here."

Up next was beautiful and talented Miranda Lambert.  She rocked the stage with her hit single, "Famous in a Small Town," from her ACM winning album of the year.  She looked amazing up there!

After Miranda, Carrie Underwood took the stage with sass and style.  Her voice was awesome as always and her outfit was super stylish.  She started off with "Wasted" and finished with her new hit single, "Last Name." I'm just throwing this out there, but Carrie, Taylor, and Kellie should all combine their golden locks to do a trio... heck, make it a quadruple with Julianne Hough!

Choo Choo!  That's right, Josh Turner took the stage and sang "Long Black Train."  The crowd really got into this one... literally!  The fans on the field started their own train as they chugged around the stadium!

Julianne Hough graced the stage with her amazing voice and award-winning dance moves.  Julianne said that her "true love" is singing and she thanked all of her fans for supporting her... fans, you rock!  She sang "That Song In My Head," and that is one song that everyone is glad to have in their heads!

Yee Haw!  Jake Owen took the stage singing just that..."Yee Haw,"  and the fans loved it! Jake said that this was the biggest crowd that he has ever played for... Jake, you did an awesome job!  Siskel and Ebert would have given you two thumbs up!

Miss Taylor Swift took the stage again to introduce an inspiration of hers, the lovely and talented Faith Hill.  Faith gave an awesome performance and her band was insane.  She started off with "Wild One," which go the crowd into one wild mood!  Faith ended with "Piece of My Heart" and blew tons of kisses out to her devoted fans. 

Pop goes the weasel!  Yes, another surprise for the best fans in the world!  Keith Urban made his way to the CMA Music Festival and rocked the crowd with his talent and style.  Everyone was going crazy when he walked on stage... he was amazing and a great end to yet another awesome night at the 2008 CMA Music Festival!  Make sure to check us out tomorrow as we hit the streets during the day and night for country music fun around the clock in Music City USA!

Thanks ya'll and get ready tomorrow to rock it with Lady Antebellum at Paradise Park Trailer Resort for the Rock Band Contest!

Click to see more live blog photos from the 2008 CMA Music Festival

6:19 --We'll here we are in the plush employee lounge, right here at CMT in NashVegas!  We are awaiting the start of the 43rd Annual ACM Awards from exciting Las Vegas.  And just like you...we are sitting on the couch in our sweats and t-shirts, potato chips in one hand, beer in the other watching the Flavor of Love Marathon until the awards start. As always the fabulous Jen Morrison is manning the keyboard and will be keeping you up-to-date live as it happens right before your eyes. It's gonna be a big night.  Lots of big stars, lots of big songs and lots of costume changes by host Reba McEntire.  To honor Reba's many fabulous costume changes, I will be regularly changing my underwear during the evening.  We'll be describing that to you in disgusting detail as the night goes on.  Stay tuned....

6:21 -- Here's a special pre-show message from Emily West..."Hey guys!  It's Emily West!  I just walked the orange carpet at the ACM's and am now sitting in the VIP room.  It's hot!  Thank God my makeup isn't falling off my face! If anyone is interested, I am wearing a light ballerina pink silk Jessica Maros couture.  I look fabulous by the way...my cutlets are not sticking though!"

7:00 --And we're off!  With the beautiful Carrie Underwood singing it like she means it!  And speaking of an Underwood...the name reminds me of Underwear and I promise, I'll be keeping you up-to-date on my underwear changes this evening.  Right now....oxford cloth boxers with a tasteful plaid pattern.  And speaking of tasteful...there she is the lovely Reba McEntire in a stunning blue gown. Oops -- she stealing Larry the Cable Guy's material.  And to confuse you even more tonight...here's a report right from the awards tonight our correspondent, Shane Tarleton, to give a live on the spot report...

7:00 -- Shane T: OMG! Keith and Nicole came down the orange carpet last minute.  Both look hot! Shane Tarleton...on my way backstage...

7:02 -- Shane T: LeAnn Rimes is flawless as always...

7:03 -- Shane T:  Wow!  How hot was Carrie?

7:11-- Uh Oh...Reba's working blue.

7:15 --We have it on good authority that the silouetted dancer behind Toby Keith is actually Vegas icon, Debbie Reynolds...still getting it done after all these years.

7:16 -- Criss Angel just walked on the stage.  What country awards show would be complete without a magician who's into leather.  Shane T:What in the hell is Criss Angel wearing? Surely this is an illusion!And here's an on the spot report from Capitol artist Emily West..."I have floor seats.  I'm sitting next to Carrot Top!" 

7:18 -- Sugarland just won another award for Stay. Something tells me they're gonna ride that baby all the way to the finish line.  And by the way...I know I'm not the designated fashion expert on this blog...but I've just got one word to say about Jennifer Nettles dress...Damn! Shane T:Love Sugarland!  Killer song...but why is he acting shocked?

7:22-- Sorry, we froze up for a second folks, so lets catch up.  Wow!  We've already had one commercial break and Reba's in the same outfit.  I however have already changed my underwear and am now wearing a snug fitting 50/50 pair of boxer briefs. And to answer our reader NashMan's question...wait till I get my Hanes on you!  Jason Alexander proves that even though you don't have a neck, you can still wear a fashionable tie.  Brad Paisley...still a guy and still can play the hell out of a guitar.  And we have a winner for New Female Vocalist...Taylor Swift.  Will so many awards shows...I hope she doesn't run out of prom dresses, and she just made her mom cry! Shane T:(on the Taylor Swift win and speech) Ka-Ching! Girls everywhere loved that!  So did moms...records are flyin' off the shelf!

7:36 --We just finished our first bag of pork rinds and whats this???  Two commericial breaks and Reba STILL hasn't changed outfits!?  This is an outrage! Blake Shelton...showing who wears the pants in this relationship!  And oh my, she wears them well!

7:42 --  Our buddies Lady A just scored a win as Top New Duo or Vocal Group.  They are also the tallest New Duo or Vocal Group.

7:46 --Okay this is getting ridiculous -- Reba is still in the blue gown.  I'm ashamed. Not only because of that but because I'm now wearing Olympic style pair of speedo's.  Not a good choice for a fat man. Rodney Atkins just took the stage...I'm a little unsure about the lyric, "He couldn't have his toy until his nuggets were gone..." Maybe someone can explain to me.

7:52 -- Congratulations to our buddy Jack Ingram for winning Top New Male Vocalist.  Like he said... It only took him 20 years, but winning this award is new to him...so God bless you Jack.  An inspiring speech if we may say.

7:53 --We just got a special message from Phillip Sweet from Little Big Town..."Hey this is Phillip from Little Big Town  and we are sitting in our seats at the awards show.  We just watched Jack Ingram win his award and we are so proud of him! We are really excited for Lady A and we are just happy for all the up and commers in this business. We are excited to see you out on the road and so glad to be here at the awards. Everybody take care. "  Shane T: Little Big Town always the best dressed!  Those girls wear the highest :heels under the sun!

8:02 --Finally...Reba changed costumes.  I was about to commando in protest.  And here's our boy Kenny C.  Ditching his usual skin tight jeans for a pair of pants that he borrowed from Julio Iglesias Jr.  Shane T:First wardrobe change of the night for Reebs...looks to be a good night.  I sure miss the days of glitzy gowns. Thank God she ain't wearin' jeans.

8:10 -- If George Strait is 56 years old.  I wanna know what he's putting on his cereal.  That guy hasn't aged a day in the past 20 years. It makes you wonder if he made a deal with the devil. Maybe it's just that his diet doesn't consist of meat, grease, salt, and cheese like mine does. Damn he looks good to be 56. I'd hate him if I didn't like him so much. Shane T: I swear George Strait will still be singing number 1 hits in the year 2108.  Not my speed, but damn there's no stopping him. Emily West: I took the toilet paper out of my dress from stuffing my boobies and wiped my eyes after Sir George's performance.  Worship that gentleman.

8:16 --Holy S*&@!  I think Jennifer Nettles just raided Catwoman's closet. I know what all I want to do is... By the way...I think Kristian raided the Joker's closet! Shane T:Cute Sugarland song.  That girl is too cute.  What is that jacket Kristian is wearing? Not feelin' it. OMG is her hair all cut off of just put up? Too cha-cha for words.

8:21 -- Here's one we didn't see coming.  Miranda Lamber just won Album of the Year...Good for her!  Anytime Blake gets out of line, she can just pull out that award and shame him!  Shane T:OMG!  I think she just said Holy S$*%! Exactly what I said too...I bet Blake gets lucky tonight!

8:28 --A little B & D on a Sunday night. By the way...Jen just told me she caught a buzz at Kix Brooks winery last evening.  She didn't have a hangover though, cause she never stopped drinking! 

8:31 -- Wow another costume change for Reba! She's getting with the program now. Shane T: Wow Reba and her quick change!  Reckon she knows the words???

8:32 --  Bingo!  Sugarland two for two.  I'm not gonna say I predicted it...but I predicted it. They're going to "stay" around for a long time. hahahahahahahaha.  Get it? I'm almost as funny as Reba was in her opening monologue.  By the way another costume change for Sugarland.  This time...I think they raided the wardrobe room of the children's production of Alice in Wonderland. Shane T: Love that she's (Jennifer Nettles) crying and mentioned that her label has balls without saying that.  But what the hell is she wearing? She almost never misses.  Why are they matching?  Ugh?

8:38 --Is Taylor Swift planning to knock off a convenient store to tonight?  Either that or she's playing a hobbit in the next Lord of the Rings sequel. Shane T:Umm...Taylor, is she in sweats?

8:41 --What the....Taylor Swift magically changes costumes right before our eyes.  I smell Criss Angel...or did Jen just cut one?  Great God almighty...now she's got it raining here...what's she gonna do next part the Red Sea? Shane T: Oh thank God.  Luv that warddrobe change on stage.  You know Sandi Spika is responsible for that! She did all the fab Reba stuff in the 90's.  Love the drama!

8:42 --This is Mica Roberts and I just want to say congratulations to Jack Ingram...It's about time!  Amen.  I'm so proud of him, I'm just so freakin' proud of him! We've been very busy, we've done a lot of radio stuff and getting ready to do our All Star Jam tonight after the ACM's and everyone's coming back to the hotel and get their second wind. So it's the last night and I'm happy cause I'm so ready to come home.  And to the fans...thanks for continuing with me on this journey we'll kick ass on the upcoming Biggest & Baddest tour.

8:46 -- Okay, I was enjoying this show until now.  Who invited that bag of gas, Dr. Phil, on this show?  Congratulations to Brooks & Dunn for being named Top Vocal Duo...I hope it didn't take too much of the shine off of winning by having it presented by Dr. Phil.

8:49 -- Trace Adkins is performing his newest single and he's not even nominated for an award tonight. That's a class act right there. Of course I had to say that or he could hurt me.  Emily West: Holy Cow!  I heart Trace...he should be our president.

8:53 --This is to Shannon who asked for my prediction for Entertainer of the Year...In light of Rascal Flatts Humanitarian Award, there's no way they are going to win that and Entertainer of the Year.  That leaves me a 1 in 4 chance.  They've already praised George Strait too much throughout the show so he won't get it and I don't have a strong feeling for Brad or Keith.  I'm just not feeling it for them. So that leaves me with one choice...Kenny Chesney as Entertainer of the Year.  You read it here first!  However, if I'm wrong...we'll go back and change it so I'm right!

8:56 --  Not only has Reba changed again...but she's put her hair up. To coincide with Reba's change, I'm now wearing a mesh thong. Also known as the banana hammock or a visual vomit inducer when i'm wearing it!  Well I'll be G.D.'d!  It's GB! Garth Brooks has just taken the stage for a medley of his hits.  This should fill the complete last hour of the show. Shane T: Good to see Garth hasn't spent his money on a new wardrobe over the years.  Flash -- It's the 90's all over again! How in the hell did he get those jeans on?

9:03 -- Good God Almighty!  Trisha's showing off the girls! And that's about all I have to say about that...

9:05 -- James Otto sent us this message from his "hosting duties" on the show: "There was a lot going on backstage, it was a little nerve wracking but it felt good. I have been on the ACM Harley ride since it began 5 years ago so to be asked to be a part of the awards this  year was awesome!  I hope to be asked back next year."

9:09 --Miss Yearwood/Miss McEntire? Was that a Freudian slip?... or a Brooksian slip?

9:11 --A mixed martial artist and a C-list sitcom actress....to quote David Allan Coe..."If t that ain't country, I'll kiss your ass!"  So...I guess I'm gonna be kissing your ass.  So bend over.

9:12 --Rascal Flatts, Vocal Duo of the Year.  Like they need another award.  Reba just got in a good zinger on Paris Hilton.  Good job Rebbie!

9:17 -- Keith Urban performing in the middle of a bunch of rabid fans and not one woman jumped on him.  Security must be doing their job. Oh wow...another country icon...David Spade.  Is it hot in there or does he have malaria? Shane T:  Look at that cute Sarah Buxton back there singing with Keith Urban... heart her! So cute.

9:23 -- It's good to see the ACM paying a respectful tribute to one of the greats...Eddy Arnold.  He will be missed. Emily West:  Brad and Carrie stole this show.  Amazing. Shane T: Wow.  Brad and Carrie tribute to the nicest star we ever had, Eddy Arnold. Carrie looks so pretty - very tasteful. Those two sound great together.

9:31 --Kellie Pickler's got her party dress on and her ear monitor out. And she still sounds better than 90% of the people tonight! I have to admit, I am biased.  I would listen to Kellie Pickler sing the phone book... as long as I could look at her why she's doing it.  And yes, I am a dirty old man. Shane T:That Kellie Pickler is so cute, I want to bite her!

9:35 -- And the Top Male Vocalist is... Brad Paisley. Big winner in a field of tough competitors.  He's a good guy and he deserves it...and, he's got a hot wife. Damn, why can't I have his life. Oh yeah -- cause I have no talent.

9:43 --LeAnn Rimes is performing.  Using a white microphone that looks like it was borrowed from the Lawrence Welk Show.  However, that's the only thing that came from the Lawrence Welk Show.  You never saw Bobby and Cissy wearing an outfit like that. Of course, Bobby and Cissy weren't blessed with a body like that either... and yes that's my second dirty man comment for the evening. It won't be my last.

9:46 -- Carrie Underwood just won for Top Female Vocalist saying "God is good."  Does that mean God hates all the other nominees?  I guess Jesus "took the wheel" on this one. Thank you.

9:47 -- Hey, how 'bout that chinless Elvis?  It's like the King just came back from dead...except, it's not.

9:54 -- Montgomery Gentry... they sound just like themselves.

9:55 --Here we go folks...the one you've been waiting for...The big enchilada...Entertainer of the Year.  I was right!  Kenny Chesney!  I was right Shannon...you owe me a coke! He just tied Garth and he needs one more to tie Alabama.

9:57 --Luke Bryan is calling in to tell us about his night at the ACM's: "I just to thank the fans for yelling for me when my name came up as a ACM nominee and I want to send out my congratulations to Jack for winning and it's just amazingly deserved for him and am very happy for him. I want to let everyone know that I'm going to get him after the show for beating me.  I loved the Carrie and Brad tribute to Eddy Arnold, it was unbelievable I literally had tears in my eyes. Just want to say once again...thank the fans  and hope to see them out on the road.

10:02 --What a night. What a show. Reba was great as usual, we had some surprises, some great performances and some great wins for some very deserving artists.  In particular Jack Ingram who finally got his due. We're hoping to get some more comments from some of your favorite artists...but I'm signing off for now. In the words of Robert Earl Keen..."the road goes on forever and the party never ends." I'll see ya on down the trail my friends...adios!

10:19 --We have Ashton Shepherd calling in to give us a report on the ACM's: "Well hey ya'll this is Ashton Shepherd and I am here in Las Vegas for my 3rd time but my 1st time at the ACM Awards out here.  We've had a great time and I've been here with UMG watching it all. I'm really excited for Miranda Lambert for winning Album of the Year which is huge in itself.  We've been out here and have had a great time...we've been gambling and there's been fans asking for autographs, it's just been a blast!"

10:20 --Keith Anderson is joining us from the SonyBMG after-party in Vegas and telling us about his week leading up to the show..."We started out doing the Fremont St. Show in Vegas on Friday night.  Me and James Otto and Randy Owen.  Then we got up early and did the Harley ride with Montgomery Gentry.  We pretty much just hung out all of Saturday night.  Got up today and did the red carpet which was cool.  I was up for Song of the Year -- did not win it, unfortunately.  Darn it. Up for "Lost In This Moment" sung by Big and Rich.  Ended up sitting with...Carrot Top, who is huge, and a guy from American Gladiators. Who set this up?  Then I saw Blake backstage and we went out and had a drink on Miranda's bus.  Came back and enjoyed the rest of the show and it was great and big show!  Now we are at the SonyBMG party hanging out with all my label mates, Carrie Underwood, Brooks & Dunn, Kenny Chesney... Then we are going to take a team picture.  And then we head back to the hotel and going to the All Star Jam... then I'm staying for a few days to enjoy the sun and lay by the pool.  Thanks for continuing to request my new songs it's on top 20 this week.  Having a great time right now and hope to see you all at the shows."

10:23 -- And now Shane has left me here, all by myself.  But Chuck Wicks just called and he's gonna wrap this up for us... "Right now as we speak -- I'm waiting to take a shuttle maybe even a car... see here's the deal, should we take a shutle or a car?  We are on our way to the SonyBMG afterparty.  The awards show was great! I walked the red carpet and the funny thing is I remember watching the red carpet last year on my tv from my couch and I said 'Oh my gosh I would never wear a suit, it's so hot!'... and guess what I wore a suit on the red carpet.  But once I got inside and all my buddies went with me, it was cool. I'm about to head out on tour with Brad Paisley and so it was cool watching him win...cool to be apart of it.  So, I walked the red carpet, walked in, then got caught off gaurd in the vip room becuase they had all this food.  I wanted a burrito, but I had a suit on and I know I would spill something on it... and now I'm going to the after party and I'm going to look like a really big pig because all I'm going to do eat. As we are talking -- we are just asking random people are you looking for the shuttle?  Are you taking a shuttle? And then here's Chris Young and Chris Young got a private car, and I have to sit here and wait for the shuttle.  See look his manager got him a car.  That is so wierd. Chris Young's manager got him a car, and I'm looking at mine and saying 'wow, do you not love me?' Here I am, now I'm standing in the middle of the street, no big deal.  By the way I just shook Chris Young's hand with my pinky.  Two grown men just shook hand with pinky's.  Now we got a car...and we have a car.  That's how we roll.  Somebody who's not nominated and just came here to support his peers and friends said 'car'... and now we have a car.  Okay -- now I'm in the SUV and I'm on the way to the afterparty and then we are going to the All Star Jam and then we will have to find a car back."

10:39 -- This brings and end to our blog and I've only got one more thing to say "OMG! I saw Chuck Wicks and he was the best dressed man at the ACM awards -- it's amazing. No man should dress that good.  And he like long walks on the beach."  And no -- Chuck did not tell me to say that! ;)

7:06 -- What an opening! The question is... Who wasn't included in that? Keith Urban just took the stage and something tells me a surprise is coming your way. Wait for it...

7:08 -- Told ya! Brooks and Dunn just joined Keith on stage. Hopefully they'll be joining us backstage. Jen, Brian and I are in the luxurious green room of the 2008 CMT Music Awards. We're in the brain center. Master control. The belly of the beast, if you will. And as the stars come back to graze on the fabulous buffet, we will grab them and force them to send out messages to you the fans. I haven't seen too many bodyguards yet that can take me. We're risking life and limb but it's only because we love you.

7:14 -- Laurel and Hardy, Abbott and Costello, Martin and Lewis and now Cyrus and Cyrus.

7:16-- Rascal Flatts just won Group Video of the Year for "Take Me There". However, with wives as hot as theirs how excited can they be?

7:18 -- On the subject of hot wives, I haven't seen one male artist tonight who didn't have one.

7:19 -- Here's a little behind-the-scenes info. The food in the green room is unbelievable or at least that's what I was told by about ten members of the Tennessee Titans who came in and immediately cleaned the whole thing out. Training camp starts soon so they need to stock up. I'm enjoying a piece of moldy beef jerky and drinking water out of a muddy boot print. Who says show business isn't glamorous.

7:23 -- Where the hell is Tom Arnold? He told me he'd come back to blog. I'd hate to resort to violence but...

7:25-- Just ran into Bucky Covington after his impressive performance. He was with his manager, Ron Harris, who is a former professional wrestler. Remember what I said earlier about not believing there was anyone here who could take me? Check that... I found one. Now I just need to introduce him to Tom Arnold.

7:28-- LeAnn Rimes and a bunch of hot dancers in prison uniforms? I'm going to need some private time. Back soon...

7:30-- Kenny Chesney just entered the green room with a large entourage. I'm going to try to break through and talk to him. If they beat me senseless, call Ron Harris.

7:39-- Sorry bout that, we were away for a moment. I blame it on Satan and his minions. But since idle fingers are the Devils playground... lets start typing. Kellie Pickler just won USA Weekend Breakthrough Video of the Year. She said she wished she was here... I couldn't agree more. Once again, my dirty old man colors are showing.

7:43 -- Just ran into Keith and Nicole in the hall. If there are two better looking people on the planet, then I don't want to see them. I think I would go blind. I ask Keith if he would like to say something to the fans, he said 'Later if I can' so I'll take him at his word. If not, he'll be getting a visit from Ron Harris. By the way, Nicole's baby bump is right there!

7:49-- Oh there's Tom Arnold! On stage with Jewel. If he knows what's good for him, he'll be back in the green room pronto! Sugarland just took the stage... I smell another surprise coming!

7:53-- Sugarland, Little Big Town, and Jake Owen! Nuff' Said.

7:58 -- Paula Abdul just took the stage...and she made it up there, all on her own, not one slip, well maybe one... followed by a stumble. Holy crap! She's actually sort of making sense. No wait! I was wrong. I think somebody pressed the crazy button. Thank God we're going to a performance.

8:01 -- Tim and Faith... what a duo. Speaking of duo's Ron Harris' twin brother Don just joined him. Don is also a former professional wrestler. Tom Arnold is in trouble!

8:02-- Bobby Brown is just ten feet away, eating shrimp and grits and watching Faith and Tim. As soon as they are finished singing and he's finished eating, I will descend upon him for a quick interview.

8:04-- Actor Tim Daly just took the stage. For those of you who don't know him, he starred on Wings for 7 years. I don't see how you could not know who he is since they reran that show twelve hours a day on another network.

8:05-- Tom Arnold is here!!!! And here ya go... "I made Tim Daly take off his glasses because he looked too much like me. Can you believe he has a son that is 37 years old? That's hard to believe about Tim Daly. I was nervous up there... Out there with Jewel. Her boyfriend wasn't mad though. He has a hammer grip. Is Jesco White here? Anyway, I've never seen so many stars... this is unbelievable. The Sugarland song made me cry. Tim McGraw's the luckiest bastard in the world. I came to fan week and went to the softball game for City of Hope..and pregnant Faith hugged me. Life wasn't going to get much better than this. Faith... hugging hot, sweaty Tom Arnold. But that Tim is actually a great actor. Tim McGraw...Well Tim Daly's a good actor too...but, I tell you what. I've gained 30 lbs that since I got here yesterday. Since I got to Nashville I've had 3 meals of fried gravy. And...I can't wait until Snoop Dog gets back here...definitely don't need a smoke machine, I tell you what. And finally... they did a brilliant montage for the opening sequence. I think they're under new management here or something."

8:16 -- Snoop Dog introducing Alan Jackson... Have we entered a parallel universe? Or did I enter a contact high? Oh -- there's Blake and Miranda. Another homely couple. God bless them.

8:18 -- Paula Abdul just walked by. She's hot. She says she's going to come back and blog with us. If she doesn't, disregard that hot comment.

8:20-- LeAnn Rimes just won for Collaborative Video of the Year. I think Reba and Kelly were a little bit disappointed. Don't worry, she'll get over it. She's won more trophies than LeAnn Rimes is old. I'm sure she can go home and caress them and she'll be just fine.

8:23-- Holy mother of monkey dookie! I have never seen as many good-looking women in one place, at one time. And I don't have a chance with any of them.

8:29-- Snoop Dog and his entourage just walked by. I found two guys who could take Ron and Don Harris now. I waved to him, he flashed the peace sign... and that is probably all the interaction I will be having with Mr. Dog this evening. I can't say that I blame him. I just found out, I had some spinach stuck in my teeth. The bad news is... the last time I ate spinach was March 14th.

8:31-- Jen departs for a potty break.

8:35-- Julianne Hough, Josh Turner and Sara Evans. It's like looking at a country version of Three's Company. Come and knock on our barn door!

8:39-- We have just found the lovely Diana DeGarmo and she has a message for all her lovely fans. "Howdy ya'll? I'm very excited to be here and hopefully sometime in the near future I will have a video up for nomination. And look out for the Gone Countrycast in a few minutes we will in introducing somebody big! And p.s...I'm the biggest Rodney Carrington fan ever!"

8:42-- Brad Paisley and Bochephus! That was the surprise we wrote about earlier. Bet you didn't see that one coming did ya!? Something tells me you did.

8:43-- Just got word LeAnn Rimes is coming to talk to us. Hope they aren't lying.

8:46-- And here she is... "Thank you so much for voting for myself and Jon for Collaborative Video of the Year. I'm so excited and it was so unexpected. I hope you all are having so much fun watching. I'm headed out this weekend to kick off my tour with Kenny Chesney and I hope I see everyone out on the road."

8: 50-- We are being graced with loveliness...Paula Abdul. "I was really honored and excited to be asked to introduce Tim McGraw and Faith Hill. While up there, I was able to mix in my overwhelming "mom-like" attitude for all the alumni of American Idol. And...at least there was no Simon. Before I announced Tim and Faith I was able to tell America that we literally found these kids by lifting up rocks and finding these gems that we actually thought to be our bright and shiny diamonds in the rough...I was getting very corny. So the band started playing so I turned to them and said 'okay...I get it.' So I then said 'It takes a tremendous amount of Faith...and the only person who gets that is Tim. And the audience went crazy. It was just fun. I got to see a lot of people from the past and I totally understand why people come here. People in Nashville are so nice and for me it's a disease but here, it's an epidemic. It's great to be apart of a huge show that has passed onto the country music world all this talent. From Josh Gracin to Bucky Covington to Kellie Pickler, Phil Stacey, and of course I call her...Miss. Carrie. And I'm so proud of all of them and I'm ecstatic to have been here tonight."

8:59 -- The hot new group Lady Antebellum is here. Let her rip kids... "Hey Cyberspacers. Lady A here. Just want to say that this years CMT Awards rocked. This is kind of like our CD pre-release party because our debut album comes out tomorrow!!!! What did you all think of our quick performance after Miley? We were nervous and what an act to follow. Snoop Dog just walked by and I got to meet Sisqo...I love that thong song(says Hillary). Don't forget to sign up to play us in Rockband on CMT.com. (An upcoming contest...) We're gonna kick your butt! Ya'll enjoy the rest of the show and we hope to meet you on the road soon."

9:00 -- I'm a lucky man, Julianne Hough has joined us. "I'm so excited to be here at the CMT Awards. I never thought that I would be in the same building with my biggest Idols... especially Faith Hill who has inspired me from the beginning. I got to meet her tonight! To my fans who have followed my career from Dancing to Singing, I wouldn't be here without you. Look foward to seeing you on the road with Brad Paisley this summer. I owe all my successes to you."

9:06 -- We have the man, the big winner tonight Trace Adkins. Let her rip brother... "Thank you fans for voting for me, the people I was up against in this category are huge stars and I can't believe I won this thing."

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